1. I tried to download the new Wilco album this AM before leaving but our network was failing. It appears Monday is not done with me after all.

2. Last night, a cabbie recalled taking me home before. C: “You live at the end of a dead end street, right?” M: “That’s me, the dead end guy.”

3. I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but often have to resort to giving them the detractor of all hope.

4. I know if I sit by a good looking lady in a 3-seater, some middle age guy will want to sit in the middle seat next to her. It’s always true.

5. Middle age could be defined as when your body starts feeling more like 52 than 25. On the other hand, I feel perfectly fine *cough cough*.

6. Reunited and it feels so good. Unless of course it’s with your overpacked morning train, in which case sarcasm is understood.

7. Did you know that smiling to yourself while on the NYC Subway increases your risk of insanity by over 30%? Just frown & you’ll feel better.

8. Is it considered a compliment if you tell someone they resemble a famous porn star? Not that I’d know any, because I don’t watch that stuff.

9. I considered the adult industry while I was searching for a career, but settled for being a corporate artist since it had better benefits.

10. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by yawning, because I expect to be doing a lot of that today.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.

1. Happy Monday! It’s time to welcome the morning perspiration of summertime with open arms… Wait, on second thought, never mind.

2. I went 72 hours without tweeting. Of course, I make it sound like I just kicked cigarettes, and yet here I am again. Smoke em if you got em!

3. Actually, doctors have found that tweeting produces chemicals in the brain that aid in self-concept. These chemicals are called egomania.

4. Of course, egomania in a corporate artist’s mind is kind of like when Clark Griswold gets lost in the Bronx.

5. Some people spread rumors that being an artist is a glorifying & rewarding career. Yes, I’ve already sent out the ninjas for these people.

6. Twitter celebrities spend the AM replying to people’s tweets. I spend that time replying to my own tweets. This is the highlight of my day.

7. If my sarcasm gets any thicker, it’s going to form a gelatinous force field that starts answering phones for me. Maybe that won’t be so bad.

8. Eye headaches are usually a good indicator that you should stop looking at yourself in the mirror in hope that you’ll become good looking.

9. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by this past Friday morning’s SomBlock. It’s totally mocking us and it must be silenced!

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.

1. Oh where art thou iPhone that thou forget’st so long? Sing to thy ear some electronica and give thy Twitter finger both skill and argument.

2. Today I hope to absorb nuclear energy and transform into a Super Robeast so I can get split into two by Voltron. That would make my Friday.

3. The dog next door barked for 2 hrs straight last night. If you’re a dog, at what point do you give up on barking and start destroying shit?

4. Perhaps barking dogs are just nature’s answer to disgruntled office drones who bitch about Excel spreadsheets. What? I didn’t mean you, man.

5. When Michael Jackson’s secret base is found, the remains of several Alien-hybrid clones will be found. But one stasis tube is found empty…

6. She’s a queen. She’ll breed. You’ll die. Or you may just have to suffer through 9 million MJ tribute albums, boxed sets, and missing tracks.

7. In lighter news, another NBA Draft came and went & thousands of fans will now have to wait for free agency to have any hope for their team.

8. Is Gillette really “the best a man can get”? I always assumed Selma Hayek circa 1998 was the best a man could get, but maybe I was mislead.

9. There are no atheists in the foxholes of Politically Correct Land. They prefer to be called “Children of No God”. Oh those silly atheists.

10. They say that a house divided against itself cannot stand. But if my house has the ability to divide, I’ll buy it some built-in crutches.

11. Proof the oxymoron exists in nature: a young lady looks like Alan Rickman yet is simultaneously smokin’ hot. It’s Harry Potter’s nightmare!

12. Whatever you do, DON’T go listen to my podcast! Avoid magicjunkradio.com at ALL costs! (That’s reverse psychology. Aren’t I so cleverer?)

13. Sorry I’m contractually obligated by the ashes of my wasted life for a shameless plug every 200 tweets for my creative projects. It happens.

14. My wife calls me a “wagon before the horse” guy. But I prefer to think of myself as a “cyborg horsemobile with heat-seeking missiles” guy.

15. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by The Elephant Man’s skeleton, because it’s so relieved to never EVER be brought up in the news again.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.

1. It’s absolutely beautiful this AM. A group of petite Latin fashion models are taking the train today. Oh, the weather’s not too bad either.

2. Whoops, sorry… I was standing on the wrong track. That’s what I get for starting the AM off with 3 screwdrivers.

3. A good marriage entails you be a motivational coach for your mate. This includes being sure they’re not motivated to kill you in your sleep.

4. I don’t know if I would kill for love. But I’d definitely use motivation tapes with subliminal messages to trick you into doing it for me.

5. I try to keep my mantras simple: Awaken. Consume. Persevere. Stop Being A Drone & Get The Fuck Off Your Ass And Make Something Creative.

6. It’s best to keep your mantras to yourself. This dude next to me keeps saying “a penitent man shall pass”. Hey, where’d this breeze come…

7. In lighter news, a Long Island BBQ restaurant is being fined for disturbing neighbors with an excessive odor that smells like smoked meats.

8. My wife and I once looked at a condo that was across from a Dunkin’ Donuts. My 400 lb alt reality self is pleased we didn’t like the place.

9. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by The Home Depot, because I have a list of items that I’ll be getting from them. Yes, all man stuff.

* Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.