Mother Nature tried her best. But she could not make me lose my lunch.

While traveling on my honeymoon this month, I had the ‘good‘ fortune of experiencing three of the four forms of motion sickness and emerged unscathed. Okay, perhaps the memory remains, but the nausea did not humble me like a college freshman’s first keg stand. The ‘good‘ element to it was I had a small window of time to compare them directly. Your grandma told you knowledge comes from mysterious teachers, and she wasn’t lying.

For those who don’t travel much (which included me until this month), here’s some trivia to bubble the acid in your gut. As defined by Wikipedia, motion sickness is “a condition in which the endolymph (the fluid found in the semicircular canals of the inner ears) becomes ’stirred up’, causing confusion between the difference between apparent perceived movement (none or very little), and actual movement.” Take a deep breath now, that was the bad part.

Motion sickness occurs while traveling via sea, air, car, or in outer space. Since I can only assume that my marriage upset the gods, I experienced the first three forms to a degree that I never had before. (As for the fourth, NASA has yet to return my calls). Most of the air and sea motion on my trip was due to the outer effects of Tropical Storm Gamma, which was passing through at the time. See the diagram below that compares my travel path to Gamma’s.

Since I have stomach ailments while on solid ground, such a trip appeared to be a gastrointestinal death wish for me. But I planned ahead and packed a Ziploc sandwich bag of remedies like Johnny Depp’s suitcase from ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas‘. It contained the pill form of Pepto Bismol, Rolaids, Ginger extract, digestive enzyme supplements, and of course Dramamine. Lots of pretty colored tabs that luckily raised no eyebrows from U.S. Customs.

Here was my week of motion sickness:

(1) AIR – I traveled from New York to Tampa (and back) via plane. The ride down was fine (apart from the fact that I ingested a pound of strawberries, whipped cream, and champagne the night before). But the return trip was a little rough leaving Tampa. The turbulence began as ‘choppy’—small bumps that made the plane appear to rumble— and escalated to ‘wavy’, where the plane seems to bounce in a huge arc causing the sensation that most of your major organs migrated to the bottom of your throat. In my opinion, air motion sickness is more about fear, since I’ve seen one too many dramatizations (LOST, Fight Club, etc.), and is usually able to be overcome mentally.
- – - I give it a Nausea-O-Meter rating of 7 of 10.

(2) SEA – Part A – After arriving in Tampa, we boarded our cruise ship for a loop of excursions around the West Caribbean (as shown above). The waters were most choppy at Grand Cayman, and near Costa Maya. Overall, the motion was not too bad when you were doing something active. But anytime we were still (either dining or lying in bed), we had the sensation of a buoy, bobbing from side to side in rhythm to the ocean. I didn’t think this motion was as unexpected or jarring as air turbulence, but it was more about the repetition just gnawing at you. Like Chinese water torture. But there are lots of remedies to combat this annoyance (see the link at the bottom).
- – - I give it a Nausea-O-Meter rating of 6 of 10.

SEA – Part B – Just when we thought we had the ocean under control, my wife and I boarded a tender going from our cruise ship to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. While the cruise ship was steady in its motion, this boat was like an amusement park ride that had a couple bolts missing from the stabilizers. The motion was a combination of the unexpectedness of the air turbulence ‘wave’ combined with the sway of the sea. The dozens of people around me all had the same thought balloon of strangling the captain— that is, when we weren’t having Dorothy’s heel-clicking “There’s no place like home” moment.
- – - I give it a Nausea-O-Meter rating of 9 of 10.

(3) CAR – While traveling to an off-boat excursion in Belize, my wife and I boarded an old school Blue Bird bus (similar to one I used to take to grade school). Despite the tour guide’s boast that the driver had a Ph.D. (a Doctorate in Pothole Driving), driving 15-30 mph down a dirt road near a rainforest is not kind to the morning’s extra serving of bacon. Nevertheless, it paled in comparison to the plane and boats.
- – - I give it a Nausea-O-Meter rating of 5 of 10.

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In summary, apart from our cruise ship being unable to dock at Costa Maya (which happened to be our designated ‘beach laziness’ day), the weather and subsequent motion sickness did not affect our honeymoon too much. We swam with sting rays, saw Mayan ruins, and got to zipline James Bond style down a mountainside— so we won’t complain.

As always, experiences vary—as I’m sure some cruises and flights are motion sickness free, while others were much worse than ours. But just in case, I recommend doing some light research and preparation before your trip. For some treatments and remedies, check out WedMD’s page on motion sickness. You might just keep your lunch too. Happy traveling!

*The sound of a man pulling the start cord of a lawnmower over and over*

The sages don’t lie. Rust accumulates fast when you step away from the creative life. Yet, I’ve decided to return here a little earlier than planned just to bring you some thoughts from the scrambled egg formerly known as Sahm’s brain. Yes, two cups of coffee already down on my first day back to work in 12 days and I’m still in a haze.

It was inevitable though. I went through a high-stress period (the month before the wedding), followed by a warp-speed period (the magic day itself), and concluded it all with a week of Caribbean cruising, shore excursions, and catching on about six months of sleep. Suddenly, I arrive back in New York, and getting back to normal is like trying to surf without a board. Nothing like taking in a couple mouthfuls of salt water when the wave crashes on your head!

But as I’m apt to say— so it goes. I know I had a blast on the whole, and after this short recovery, I will walk away greatly strengthened in all facets of my life. I could wax on the benefits of marriage, but it wouldn’t be anything that someone hasn’t said before. However, among the typical benefits, as a creative person that married another creative person, the union does solidify our presence as an artistic force to be reckoned with. To which I can only be thoroughly excited at such a future.

For now, I must enjoy the new car scent of my fresh memories and drive myself back to my productive routines. Yeah, you might smell some clutch burning, but Blogimus Prime, Magic Junk, and all of the projects will be rolling at full speed very soon. Cheers!