1. If you think you’re going to hit rockbottom, be sure to bring a sledgehammer with you.

2. A half empty train is like a warm gun on an otherwise stressing and annoying day. Whoops, was I supposed to say ‘happiness’? You’re funny.

3. Unpublish button to fix missed typo, you’ve failed me for the last time. *pinches fingers together*

4. The only vacation that really matters is one you make permanently from something else. Anything else is just a momentary distraction.

5. I’d like to tell you that you’ll get a lot accomplished this 3-day weekend. Of course, for most of you, that means drinking and overeating.

6. Is God really dead? Or is he merely playing a simultaneous neighborhood game of hide-n-seek with children all over the world? Right.

7. Don’t worry, sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m being sarcastic or not.

8. I went out to find my happy place, but discovered it had already closed for the summer.

9. Is it true that Michael Jackson was buried in King Tut’s tomb, and is making an undead comeback in The Mummy V?

10. To my 20 non-spam related followers, I hope you can end the summer with a bang. Of course, I’m talking about exploding Molotov cocktails.

11. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like finding an ice cold beer at 8:43 in the morning.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***