1. I got my technique down and everything, I don’t be ticklin’ or nothin’. Oh crap, it’s past 8:05am… Time to get into tweet character.

2. Want to really fool your spouse into thinking they’ve put on weight? Wash all of their jeans without them knowing you did so.

3. I met Smiling Guy from the erectile dysfunction ads. He said “Hello there! Please excuse me while I suffer several unpleasant side effects.”

4. Quality constructive criticism is as hard to come by as a good looking woman who doesn’t have a shoe fetish or purse collection.

5. Somfucius say: boy who likes girls who like girls who like boys should really focus on someone who likes him and his equipment.

6. Research shows that my love of beer, bacon, and burgers is slowly killing all of my internal organs. Ah yes, what a tasty way to go out.

7. I’m not a foodie, but if you don’t mix in some tasty fattening food every so often in your healthy diet, then you’re a self-sadist.

8. I suppose my AM tweet efficiency would go up if I had a laptop with a 3G card instead of lurching here like a mad scientist over my iPhone.

9. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by wearing jeans so tight that you can sing Jeff Buckley and Thom Yorke falsetto on the way to work.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***