1. A Lucky Monday begins by arriving to the platform just as the train arrives but somehow getting the last aisle seat in the car.

2. My wife was away all weekend, and I had to scramble through the house this morning to clean up all the fallout debris and wartime aftermath.

3. I had no idea that a trio of exotic dancers, an alternative jazz band, and an autopsy team could leave such a mess behind.

4. I can’t believe that tomorrow is September already. I didn’t even get a chance to give my yearly lobsteresque sunburn a refresher.

5. I didn’t get a chance to paint all weekend. Therefore, I was forced to beat up a group of door-to-door solicitors to balance the equation.

6. Upon second look, I think the solicitors may have been a traveling band of Kenny G impersonators. Not that it matters much. I’m just saying.

7. Batman: Arkham Asylum is actually an anagram for my failed TV pilot on affordable brass instruments— Mark Sahm: Tuba Layman.

8. Oh shut up, anagrams can too be funny. Uh huh. That’s right. Yeah? Well, your momma is so big and high-maintenance that they call her MoMA.

9. You see, my friends, the rules are at work. A yo momma joke ALWAYS saves an overextended anagram joke in the SomBlock on a Monday morning.

10. This AM’s SomBlock is sponsored by all those who think I’m a mean spirited guy. I just kissed a baby to prove I’m nice. Ewwww. *spitting*

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***