1. Standing on the wrong side of the tracks is usually a bad thing, but it managed to work out this morning because yeah, I’m fly like that.

2. Yesterday an ATM asked me if I wanted a printed receipt. After I said yes, it called me an anti-Earth treekiller. The price to go green, eh?

3. Legend has it that Serena Williams’ thighs can not only make a grown man cry, but pulverize his head into 1/4″ thick magenta plexiglass.

4. How is an athlete kissing a trophy considered acceptable, but Gollum caressing the Ring of Power is crazy? What do you mean he’s not real?

5. Those who insist on using the left side of a double door will soon be greeted by the right side of my elbow.

6. On September 9th this year, the devil will turn his calendar upside down, while free love practitioners put their calender on a pinwheel.

7. In the future, the SomBlock will come with an INXS style sax solo for your nostalgic listening pleasure.

8. I’m sorry, the tweet number you have reached is no longer in service, because your mind should be thinking about real life things.

9. This AM’s SomBlock is sponsored by the fire in the hearts of particularly icy & remorseless men. It chills my bones just to look at flames!

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***