1. It’s very humid this morning. My fingers are getting stuck to my iPhone while I’m typing. But the SomBlock doesn’t yield to weather. Yeah.

2. Counting down to an island vacation is sad and pathetic and… T-MINUS SIX (working) DAYS UNTIL PUERTO RICO!

3. Damn. On a clear day, you can see NYC from the top of the Trump Parc Stamford. I live a mile away and only see trees and the RBS Building.

4. Face the truth: Harry Potter probably gets more action than you do, because he can afford A-list escorts. You should look into wizardry.

5. The chick from Harry Potter movies is finally legal. It’s great when people earn the right to vote. What were you thinking I meant? Pervert.

6. In lighter news, I haven’t split the seams in any pants this year. This calls for a celebration! *does backflips* Ha, still didn’t tear ‘em!

7. Ever since I turned 23, my back perspires more than when I was younger. Am I becoming a camel? Will I be appearing on cigarette boxes?

8. It should be noted that even 40 lbs ago, I could never do backflips. I did however do a sensational forward tumble roll.

9. If a sad tomato pushes an elephant up the stairs but didn’t bark on command, is its’ death pretty final? Somewhere, an REM fan is laughing.

10. I probably shouldn’t make inside jokes on Fridays, but I didn’t copy it from someone else & tweet it as my own. There’s always a trade-off.

11. I’m a real team player & my enthusiasm inspires all to overachieve. Okay, I’m lying. I inspire people to drink. I guess that isn’t ALL bad.

12. I know I say I’m lying a lot, but at least I’m honest about it. There’s public dignity in that. I’d make a kick-ass celebrity spokesperson.

13. The way they animate the girl in the Wendy’s logo is totally creepy, it looks the poster of the girl from that new Orphan horror flick.

14. There are those who think marriage is a tired institution. Then there are those who think it just needs caffeine, costumes, and handcuffs.

15. This morning’s SomBlock Galore is sponsored by sarcasm with bacon and guacamole. Because let’s face it: a ménage a trois doesn’t get better.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***