1. The McCafe ads are everywhere. Who knew McDonald’s had such a hard-on for attacking Starbucks? Did punching Burger King get boring for them?

2. I love the taste of coffee but adding McDonald’s brand Crack McCocaine to it is just disgusting.

3. The beauty of owning your own griddle or grill is that you can get fat on your own burgers instead of a fast food chain. Take that, suckers!

4. There’s a subway ad for a “center for minimally invasive gynecology”. Such ads make me relieved that my goods don’t require annual invasion.

5. The quality of IKEA products gets worse with each buying cycle. The Swedish meatballs are the same though. Priorities are important, folks.

6. Twitical Mass: when you’ve tweeted so much, you start repeating from 6 months ago. Note: this can be cured by becoming crazier.

7. I’m sure I’ve repeated a few tweets without realizing it. Cynicism is redundant. I’m sure I’ve repeated a few tweets without realizing it.

8. I’d make a terrible Supreme Court judge, because I’d base too many decisions on what the Magic 8-Ball advises. You don’t question the M8B.

9. Justice doesn’t occur half of the time anyway, so who am I to mess with the odds?

10. I don’t care if I could birth koi fish via laserbeams from my eyes, I’d never get a tattoo of one. You may as well get a rose & mom’s name.

11. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by McSomBlock, because 8 of 9 people prefer the chemically re-engineered taste over the usual SomBlock.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***