1. When things get bad in life, just remember— you could be the Mets. Of course, they are getting paid much better.

2. I’m not sure what your point is, but I hope you understand if I turn on my corporate voice and yes-certainly-yes you out the door.

3. Rebuttal to child-bearers: why would you want a thing that defecates & vomits on you, keeps you up at night and eventually costs $1 million?

4. You might think that I have an extremely low tolerance for children saying sickening sweet things, and you’d be absolutely right about that.

5. Obama speech to Russian students: “Our countries should be getting along like Belushi and Schwarzenegger in Red Heat.”

6. If you give a half torn $100 bill water, sunshine, and a bug-free home, it will eventually grow back its other half.

7. It’s very inspiring when my physical health works really hard to get as corrupted as my mental health is. Hard work goes a long way, kids.

8. I’m considering a Surgeon General’s Warning for Extreme Sarcasm on some tweets. Our Twitter overlords need to allow more characters though.

9. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by the Church of Latter Day SomBlocks, because that’s about as close as I’ll come to being a saint.

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***