1. I could tell you that everything will be alright. I could also tell you that slapping yourself with frozen steaks helps your wife’s libido.

2. Inversely, slapping grazing cows will NOT result in you getting a mistress for the weekend.

3. Why do people always wait for holidays to be excessive with food, drink and parties? If it helps de-stress you, have a holiday once a week.

4. I burned the roof of my mouth last night biting into a hot dog fresh from the grill. The stinging of key lime pie afterwards informed me so.

5. Best outfit ever: A Thursday dressed in Friday’s clothing.

6. You can’t hit a home run everyday. Some days you foul the ball off of your foot. But that’s better than running into the centerfield wall.

7. How in the hell did I not buy Portishead 3 last year? This album is almost as dark and twisted as a pseudo-devil tweeting about it. Almost.

8. I’ve been working for 11 yrs. Only 18 months of that was my commute less than an hour. I know, I could’ve been a work-at-home telemarketer.

9. This morning’s SomBlock is sponsored by the 3-day weekend, because it can always redeem an unproductive work week. And dammit, it shall!

*** Every weekday from 8-9am while traveling from Stamford to Manhattan, Mark Sahm writes a block of thoughts on his Twitter account (@Somrod) via his iPhone.***