Stepping back into an old role is never easy, especially when the rules have changed. Of course, the range of old roles is very wide. It could be as simple as doing an extra thing during the cold season. Or it could be as complex as having to pick up the job duties of a terminated employee whose job you used to do.

For me, the old role is that of a consistent blogger. Back in 2005, from March through April, I wrote about 39 entries. This happened mostly at work, where I had a job that was so easy and routine to me that most days I finished far sooner than what was expected of me. To boot, I’d get home at 6:20pm. So I casually blogged.

Now, it was quite ironic that I wrote the previous two paragraphs this morning around 9:30am. This is because, in contrast to the blogger of 2005, tonight’s M. Sahm strolled through the door at 10pm. No, I didn’t go to a concert after work. That’s what time I got home from work. This does not happen every night, but it happens enough to be noticeable. It never happened in 2005.

Of course, I get compensated much better than I did in 2005, but there are costs. There are sacrifices. There are leftover pieces of grilled chicked microwaved at 10:15pm that serve as dinner. And certainly, there is no casual blogging anymore.

If I blog, it is usually rushed like this. The crunch of trying to balance the decompression of an evening mind against the rising of a 300 word concept. When it does happen, it is lucky if it happens twice a month. Worse, the posts often miss the point, just wavering in-between blind hope and 20/20 despair. Having a point, to me as a writer, is the whole reason for doing this. To me, if you’re not sharing your points with others, even if it’s an abstract point that someone has to work to ascertain— then why the hell bother?

The old role of a consistent casual blogger is gone. The new role of a persistent resourceful blogger is what is left.

Therefore, the point—ding!— is that even if I don’t have the time or the casual life-flow that I used to, I am going to try and blog every night for a month because it is the only time I have to write. The only time I have to begin what was already begun. I will try to find a way to make it work… just to see if I can.