An editorial by S.Rod
Every morning Mark and I wake up to the news on our clock radio. At 6:45am, it pops on and in fifteen minutes or so, I actually start listening. Today while brushing my teeth, I hear the story, “Is Santa a bad influence on children?” Immediately the clever headline piqued my interest. Damn, I’m trying to get ready here, but I stopped to listen anyway.
Basically, the acting U.S. Surgeon General feels that similar to athletes who work with children to promote healthy lifestyles, Santa should be no different in terms of athleticism. Did I hear that right? Santa is too FAT! WHAT? That is just silly!
Santa has already lost his pipe (an old man with a pipe, I’m sure every kid wants to emulate that!), he can’t have kids sit on his knee anymore (this one isn’t so bad), and he can’t say Merry Christmas (if you are going to see Santa in the first place, why would this be a problem?) or Ho Ho Ho (Santa does know if you have been naughty!) because it could offend people.
Now, they want to take away his “bowl full of jelly”. What is wrong with this world? The PC element is out of control. Come on, are kids paying attention to Santa’s tummy? I mean really, Santa is a once a year thing, and the kids just want the presents.
Begin Rant:
If the Surgeon General wants to decrease childhood obesity and promote healthy living then he should start with educating their parents. It’s the parents who are stuffing their kids full of prepackaged and fast food, they are letting them play video games for umpteen hours a day without any physical activity. Do kids even play outside anymore?
Everyone has gotten so lazy. Why can’t we take responsibility anymore? Why does it have to be the person on the TV’s fault, or the international icon for Christmas?
Another problem is that healthy meals, in addition to taking effort to make, are expensive in comparison to fast food. I was just thinking about the cost factor the other day while eating lunch. I had gotten a salad that cost me about $7 on Monday and yesterday I bought a double cheeseburger and large fries for $3. So, if I always eat cheeseburgers and fries I could eat lunch for at least 3 days on just $10. Isn’t that crazy!? We should try to find solutions for things like this, and not worry about Santa’s waistline.
End Rant…
Josh Says:
December 5th, 2007 at 3:43 pmVisit Josh
And people are shocked (and relieved) that we’re not having kids. Screw the Surgeon General!
S.Rod Says:
December 6th, 2007 at 12:44 pmVisit S.Rod
Josh - The world needs more smart people to procreate.
Josh Says:
December 7th, 2007 at 3:45 pmVisit Josh
Yeah, well that ship has sailed.
We’ll have to look to someone else to brew us a new generation of smart. I have this fantastically talented artistic couple in NY in mind. 
Mark Sahm Says:
December 7th, 2007 at 9:47 pmVisit Mark Sahm
Good thing we moved to Connecticut!
Josh Says:
December 8th, 2007 at 6:35 pmVisit Josh
My curse can find you in Conn., too!
S. Rod Says:
December 9th, 2007 at 12:16 pmVisit S. Rod
Josh - Keep your curse under wraps for at least a year!
My back needs to recuperate.
Mark Sahm Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 10:34 amVisit Mark Sahm
A year?!? You better hope I hit the Mega Millions, S.Rod.
S.Rod Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 10:46 amVisit S.Rod
You are too funny. I said at least a year…! I didn’t say that at the end of that year I want to spawn little Markys.
Josh Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 3:24 pmVisit Josh
There is literally no way I can wade into this conversation and remain PG. Something about people with bad backs, little Markys, spawning, curses… what have you started here, SRod?
Speaking of which… SRod needs to get a site or some space on Magic Junk with her own feed. I never check MySpace anymore on account of I hate it.
Mark Saleski Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 11:55 pmVisit Mark Saleski
all this talk of spawning in the middle of december….isn’t that what spring is s’posed to be for?
sheesh!
Mark Sahm Says:
December 11th, 2007 at 11:59 pmVisit Mark Sahm
It’s funny how conversely, none of the MySpace people follow the MJ feed.
But honestly Josh, S.Rod is already distracted enough… please don’t give any ideas to further distract my “webmaster”. I mean, can’t you see how many updates to the site have been done since August 2006?
S.Rod Says:
December 12th, 2007 at 12:40 amVisit S.Rod
Josh: I have many projects that need completion before I can start something new. Maybe sometime in the new year I will create a little page for myself on magicjunk. I’m not crazy about Myspace either.
M.Saleski: I think spawning demon seed can be done at anytime of year…
M.Sahm: I scoff in your general direction!